April Fools' Day jokes

It's that time of year again.. In this news post I'll collect some of the tech related April Fools' Day jokes I came across today.

TechARP has published two articles today, first up is an article that Bill Gates is back in charge at Microsoft.

Our intrepid Microsoft insider has just informed us that there is rumbling that good old Bill may be coming out of semi-retirement to take over Microsoft, à la Steve Jobs. Apparently Bill has been feeling that his old pal, Ballmer, screwed things up royally with Windows Vista and Microsoft needs an inspirational leader like himself to helm it through the current economic crisis.

According to the sketchy details, Ballmer will remain Microsoft's CEO, but Gates will directly take over the Windows 7 programme and correct "fundamental problems" with its marketing and new features like Windows Anytime Upgrade and the Windows 7 Upgrade Program. Amongst those changes being proposed are...

The second April 1st joke from TechARP involves Intel and NVIDIA:

The inevitable has finally happened. NVIDIA will soon be part of the behemoth that is Intel. The ink is still wet and there is still much to work out before NVIDIA becomes part of Intel, but it is a done deal according to an inside source.

It was a remarkably rapid reversal of fortunes for NVIDIA. With several key design successes, NVIDIA rapidly went from an obscure company to arguably the leading 3D graphics processor company in the world. Right before their fall from grace, the company boasted a retail market share of over 80%. For a long while, it appeared that they could do no wrong.

In fact, the company was so supremely confident of their success that they even took on CPU behemoth, Intel. Their company president and CEO, Huang Jen-Hsun, openly belittled Intel's upcoming Larrabee processor, claiming that it was nothing more than "a PowerPoint slide". Ironically, it is Intel and the Larrabee processor that will be NVIDIA's salvation.

TweakTown on the other hand claims that Apple is going to acquire NVIDIA, looks like Jobs and Otellini will have to fight it out.

In shocking news today it seems that Apple has made a big move towards their return to being a complete system maker.

An inside source at Apple tells us that Steve Jobs has Ok’d the purchase of nVidia. For the last year Apple has leaned on nVidia to provide chipsets for their products but Sr. Steve of Jobs has never been one to be content with letting others make things for him.

Madshrimps tested drinkable liquid cooling fluid from Mushkin that outperforms any other cooling fluid.

Futurelook has breaking news: Palm has been bought by RIM:

A lot of the talk in the smartphone world these days has to do with the Apple iPhone, but we could be looking at one of the biggest corporate mergers in the history of cell phones. It has just been announced that Research in Motion, maker of the BlackBerry line of devices, is in the process of acquiring Palm, Inc. This news comes mere months before the pending release of the Palm Pre, a smartphone that is supposed infuse new energy and excitement into the Palm brand. Research in Motion wants to capitalize on this excitement and extend it to the BlackBerry line as a whole.

Tech Report has been taken over by LOLcatz.

Google presents CADIE a new type of AI that will take over the world. The Autopilot feature for Gmail is also interesting.

NGOHQ published the HyperThreading Wrapper 0.1, this application significantly boosts performance of single-threaded applications on multi-core processors

According to our internal benchmarks, we obtained up to 3.5X performance gain with a quad core processor and 1.5X performance gain with dual core processor on several applications and games. However, sadly at this stage, only Intel processors are supported, but we do have plans of adding support for AMD processors in the near future. And of course, best of all – this software is 100% absolutely free.

Guardian is giving up on print and will focus on Twitter instead.

TechWareLabs reveals Conficker isn't a virus but one big lottery!

Pictures of the GeForce GTX 390 have surfaced at ExtraHardware.

Razer is making a dedicated motion-sensing and gesture recognition game controller for a Valve game.

Have you spotted good April Fools' Day jokes? Post them in the comment section